In man box culture, we teach boys the rules of being a man. The first thing we teach boys is “women are less.”
We do this by policing boys’ and men’s masculinity via the denigration of the feminine. This begins shortly after infancy and goes on continually thereafter. (What are you, a girl? What are you, a sissy?) Eventually, boys under constant bullying and pressure to live up to man box culture’s expectations, engage in public harassment and denigration of women as a shortcut to masculine confirmation.
Once you train boys to think their gender makes them better than girls, it’s not much of a reach to convince them they’re better than others based on race, religion, immigration status, and so on. It’s why masculinity extremists and white supremacists are the same population. …
Yesterday, Joe Cirincione tweeted out comments made by Joe Biden’s national security advisor, Jake Sullivan about his mandate as defined by Biden.
Cirincione’s tweet reads: In his remarks, Jake Sullivan says @JoeBiden tasked them to “reimagine national security” to include “the pandemic, the economic crisis, the climate crisis, technological disruptions, threats to democracy, racial injustice and inequality in all forms.”
Biden is clearly acknowledging the threat that domestic terrorism represents to our national security, in the form of both masculinity extremists (incels, MRAs, MGTOWs) and white nationalists (proud boys, KKK) which are more or less the same population according to the Southern Poverty Law Center. …
Dominance-based authoritarians like Trump hold immense power until the moment in which it starts to slip away. Then they lose it with shocking speed as the cowards that supported him flee the legal and political ramifications of his actions.
Trump is not the source of GOP authoritarianism. He is simply the figurehead. NEVER FORGET, because of it’s collective four year silence, the GOP has invested its entire future in Trump’s strong man white nationalism, trading our democratic rights for his power grab.
The GOP’s collective history predates and foreshadows Trumpism, using racism to win elections since first co-oping racist Southern voters after the Voting and Civils rights acts were passed in the 60’s. …
“Little Ben” is Trump’s classic domination-based masculinity at work. Remember Little Marco? Trump’s base is addicted to bullying domination-based masculine culture which underpins the power of authoritarians like Trump. For them, Trump’s bullying is an extension of their own.
Trump’s abusive, bullying tone is a narcotic to MAGA. Hypocricy, lying, tax fraud, adultry and allowing 210,000+ Americans to die from Covid is fine with them. Their own histories of trauma informs their addictive need for authoritarian leaders.
Creating a culture of ongoing chaos and violence feeds MAGA’s core appetites, born out of generations of untreated trauma and abuse. They call Trump their “payback.” This is why white nationalists love Trump. Racism is a powerful form of destructive chaos. …
Joe Biden has long struggled with a stutter. Joe often gives his direct phone number to kids who stutter. He offers them support to grow their courage and overcome the shame this can represent for them. “You can do this,” he says to them.
Now it’s coming to light that Trump’s hammering of Biden in the first debate, his constant interruptions and personal goading was an attempt to trigger a stutter from Joe. He wanted to break Joe and make him look weak. Trump failed, utterly. Joe’s composure was unbroken.
But to look at Trump’s behavior during the first debate, through this particular lens, that he wanted to trigger Biden’s stutter by hammering and insulting him in every possible way, makes Trump’s lack of human decency all the more evident. …
I’m a college educated white male. I have a deeply satisfying professional and personal life. I’m primarily responsible for washing dishes, cooking, cleaning bathrooms, laundry, and general house cleaning. There are days when it is joyful and there are days when it feels bleak and oppressive. I can not imagine what lifetimes of this work felt like for women of my mother’s generation. How it must have driven many women mad.
They had a lifetime of this work forced on them. They had no choice. This was work which grew exponentially with each birth, many of which were unplanned. I’m looking at just few years of the current arrangement for a family of three. …
In our bullying, dominance-based man box culture, we have not simply learned how to turn away from other’s pain. In dominance culture, we are encouraged to have contempt for those in pain, making the turning away easy. This effectively creates a culture-wide disruption of masculine empathy and compassion.
Dominance-based man box culture is based on a narrow set of rules for being a man. Boys who fail to conform are bullied and brutalized until the get back in the box. The rules enforce ideas like “Don’t show your emotions.” “Always be tough.” “Never ask for help” and so on.
A young boy who falls and hurts himself on the playground must never cry. If he does, he is told “man up” or asked “what are you, a girl?” In this way, emotional distress associated with pain is punished, made fun of, condemned daily in young boys lives. …
Our generations old dominance-based man box culture of masculinity shames and bullies young boys out of authentic emotional expression and connection and then slots them into a hierarchical, pecking order version of masculinity based on a narrow set of rules for being a man.
One result is masculinity extremists’ (MRA’s and Incels’) openly transactional view of human intimacy. They declare human intimacy to be an exchange of goods. Status for sex, etc. This is a by product of our domination-based man box culture of masculinity.
In man box culture, boys are bullied into believing that “real men:”
1) Don’t show emotions
2) Make a lot of money
3) Have power/control over women
4) Have a lot of sex
5) Are heterosexual
6) Only talk about money, sex, or sports, nothing deep
7) Are always leaders, tough, never show pain
8) Are providers, never care…
As the Republican Party leans more and more into what seem to be impossibly contradictory positions, we need to understand Trump’s base isn’t about what’s rational. It’s about the visceral pleasure of domination.
It was repellent to me, when, during the 2016 primary, Trump created nasty little nick names for every other GOP candidate. Back then, the first time I heard him call Marco Rubio “Little Marco” I was disgusted. This was straight up playground bully talk.
One simple act would have changed everything in the 2016 primary. If Marco Rubio or Ted Cruz, who’s wife Trump openly insulted, had walked over and punched Trump in the face on national television. But they did not. They took the bullying, were cowed, and Trump became president. …
If the Democratic Party overcomes all of the voter suppression, hacking and cheating and wins the White House and majorities in the Congress, they had better be ready to go hard at GOP obstruction, pass laws unilaterally, fully protect the vote, prosecute all crimes committed, end Trump Tax cuts
Working in partnerships with Republicans in any way, shape, or form this time around will end the Democratic Party as a national political party. DEMOCRATIC PARTY LEADERSHIP MUST PASS EVERY PROGRESSIVE AGENDA YOU’VE AGREED TO. EVERY SINGLE ONE. WITHIN 90 DAYS.
The Democratic Party will have two years to get everything done. All investigations and prosecutions. Ending the horror that is ICE. Weeding white nationalists out of our military, justice department, and police departments. Tracking down domestic terrorists. Ending Citizens United. Adding three seats to the Supreme Court. …