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The Part of Allyship Work That Men Rightfully Fear
It’s no wonder we still orient to, make excuses for, soften our response to men who bully women in the workplace.
There is a huge challenge in how many of us men approach being an ally to women. We think we can become allies to women without it bringing up all of the deep emotional work we have yet to do in our own lives. There’s a reason why abuse against women is still freely going on everywhere. Because men, raised in our generations old dominance-based culture of #masculinity, also do violence to each other, convincing generations of us to shut up and accept masculine bullying as “just the way men are.”
Little boys are forced to conform to the rules of Man Box culture, a very narrow isolating version of #masculinity. The rules include never show our emotions, always be tough, never ask for help, be breadwinners not care-givers, be heterosexual not homosexual, never talk about anything deep, have control over women and girls. We are literally taught to validate our masculinity by displaying power over women. Failing to do so in an invitation to be bullied back into the Man Box.
Given all that, if challenging a man about his behavior towards women doesn’t raise hackles on the back of our necks, we’re not fully in touch with our own…
