Photo by Rob Olivera

When Do Millions of Men End Our Silence on Violence Against Women?

Savage abuse playing out all around us. Are we broken?

The keen savagery with which some men dish out abuse against women on social media tells us all we need to know about our dominance-based culture of masculinity. It is designed to encourage bullying, violence and rape. It’s all right there in the words.

I can not and will not accept that boys are born this way. All the evidence we have shows that boys are born loving connecting creatures, who, by the time they reach adulthood are broken by a culture of masculinity designed to traumatize them into dominating all those around them.

At best, men are unwilling to join in the violence against women, but millions of us fall silent in a maze of trauma, unable to see with clarity the ways in which our silence allows our sisters to suffer and die by the hands of most savage among us.

It’s time for men to do our work and heal lifetimes of traumatic conditioning that leaves us unable to respond to the cries of others. We must create a masculinity of connection and compassion. We must stand in the breach and defend our little sons’ joyful loving need for connection.

No excuses. No more “but, I’m a good man.” If we are not *actively* engaging in men’s work to create a masculinity of compassion and connection, we are failing our little children, our families, and our communities. We are failing ourselves. Full stop.

Where to begin? Seek out The ManKind Project or any men’s group. Seek out a therapist. Seek healthy masculinity podcasts or self help books.

Learn about men’s work. Join us on Remaking Manhood, The Healthy Masculinity Podcast. We’re in conversation with leaders in the healthy masculinity movement on most streaming services.



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Mark Greene

Mark Greene


Working toward a culture of healthy masculinity. Links to our books, podcasts, Youtube and more: