Why are you so contemptuous of my version of masculinity? Why do you need a grand illusion about some singular truth of manhood? Go look in the mirror. The need to define manhood for others is just an effort to fill an empty place in ourselves. Your job is to settle all this for yourself and no one else. The rest of it is just you trying to control a lot of fear and uncertainty. Good luck. We all have to walk this path. Now it’s your turn.